Oral sex, or cunnilingus, is pleasurable for both women and men. In fact, it can be even more pleasurable for a woman than oral sex on a man.
Oral sex can also be safer than vaginal or anal sex, because there’s less skin-to-skin contact. But it’s still important to use a condom or dental dam if you want to prevent STDs.
1. Start with the anus
Whether you’re a sex expert or a beginner, it’s important to start with oral sex gently. It’s best to give her a few moments of teases and licking before you start pounding her clitoris. Playing with differences in speed and pressure can give her a wide range of orgasms, including clitoral, G-Spot, and anal stimulation.
After you’ve sucked and licked her clitoral area, start to gently stroke up and down the rim of her anus with your tongue. There are a lot of nerve endings in this area, and slow, gentle strokes will get her tingly.
If she responds well to this, then you can increase the intensity. It’s also a good idea to use a lubricant for optimum pleasure. A flavored lube, like strawberry or chocolate, can really add to the experience, too. If she’s comfortable, you can also try a dental dam or tongue condom, which are sheets of latex that can be placed over the anus and create a barrier. Or, you can cut a regular male condom into a sleeve to wear over the anus and provide protection without compromising sensation.
2. Start with the clitoris
The clitoris is an important part to focus on during oral sex, especially for women, as it’s often one of the fastest routes to orgasm. But before aiming directly for it, you should look for cues from her that she wants to move forward and feel your mouth on her body. Licking, kissing, arching her back and moaning are all common signals that she’s ready for the next step.
The tip of the clitoris sticks out of her vulva like a little pea, but that’s only a tenth of its overall length. The rest of it’s nestled inside her body and protected by the clitoral hood. Licking this area and massaging it with your tongue is a great way to get her excited and stimulate the nerves that lead to orgasm.
You can also try licking and even gently sucking her clitoral hood, as well as around her genital lips and vaginal opening. Just be careful not to overdo it at this point — you don’t want to cause any pain or discomfort.
3. Move from the anus to the clitoris
A woman’s anus is not self-lubricating, so a good lubricant is important for oral play. The clitoral hood is sensitive to stimulation, and licking can be very satisfying. Try moving your tongue around it – changing speed and pressure can intensify pleasure. Adding a vibrator to the mix can add extra excitement to this oral sex technique.
Another fun oral sex move involves using your tongue to ‘sweep’ the area around her clitoral hood – like sweeping the floor! Slowing down the pace and increasing pressure can lead to intense orgasms, but it’s important to listen to your wife and not push too hard.
Sucking is not an essential oral sex technique, but it can be very pleasurable. It’s best to start with the anus and then move towards the clitoris. The clitoral hood has lots of nerve endings and can be very sensitive, so be careful not to overstimulate her. Try gently sucking on her clitoris to see how she reacts – if she shies away or starts crying out, you’re probably pushing too hard.
4. Move from the clitoris to the penis
The clitoris is the gateway to some of the most insane levels of peak pleasure a woman could ever experience (though, caveat, men can become multi-orgasmic in the same way). While it’s super important to pay attention to her clitoris, don’t be afraid to branch out and explore other areas.
For example, instead of just licking the tip of her clitoris like an ice cream cone, try spreading your tongue out wide and moving it up and down the length of her clitoris. Another great move is sweeping your tongue in and out of her clitoral hood, a.k.a the “fin” part of her clitoris, like you’re sweeping a floor.
Finally, stroking the clitoral hood and either side of her clitoral shaft with your tongue is also super satisfying. But again, it’s important to build slowly and take your time in this area. Stimulating too quickly or intensely can cause overstimulation, which is not the goal here. The key is to find a stroke technique that works and keep at it until she hits orgasm.
5. Move from the penis to the clitoris
Performing oral sex when your partner has a penis can be trickier than on the vulva, but it’s still possible. The key is to be careful and not overdo it. Licking is a good go-to move, but (gentle) sucking can be fun too. And don’t be afraid to lick up and down the shaft of her penis. This is called “grapefruiting” and can feel super hot and juicy, especially if you add lube to the mix.
The clitoris is another important area to target during oral sex. When sexually aroused, the clitoris elongates and becomes more sensitive, making it a pleasureable target for tongue action. It also has many nerve endings that can be stimulated for sensation. Start slow here, though, because over-stimulating can provide overstimulation and even cause pain.
If you want to ramp up intensity, try a little pressure on the clitoris between licks. It’s a good idea to ask your partner what feels best, and play around with different amounts of pressure, repetition, and pulsing. You can also use sex toys that put a different type of pressure on the clitoris, such as a clitoral suction toy.
6. Move from the clitoris to the vulva
Oral sex, also known as ‘going down’ or ‘rimming’ is a fun way for you to give her pleasure with your mouth and tongue. It’s more intimate, gives her different sensations than penetration and can lead to intense orgasms.
To do this, gently part her inner lips and then lick her vulva (the fleshy mound above the anus). The clitoral hood is the flap of skin over the clitoris and can be pulled forward to expose it. Gently lick around the head of her clitoris and flex your tongue to get the feel for it. Lick tiny circles and then gradually ramp things up.
Next, lick in between her inner labia. This is a good transitional step before you go for her clitoral hood. This can be a bit ticklish, so don’t spend too much time here. Pay attention to her cues – arching her back, licking her lips, sighing and moaning are all good signs she wants you to move closer. It’s important to always ask her for consent before touching her genitals.
7. Move from the vulva to the anus
The anus, or perineum, is a sensitive erogenous zone that can be pleasured with your tongue and lips. This act, called rimming, can be pleasurable for both partners if they communicate what turns them on and off and use protection.
Cunnilingus is the most common form of oral sex. It involves stimulating the clitoris and vulva with your lips and tongue. It can be used as foreplay before sexual intercourse or it can be the main event of a sexual experience.
To please a woman, start with slow licking and gradually increase the speed and pressure. Use a variety of tongue positions and textures and pay attention to her body language. She may signal pleasure by tilting her hips closer to your face or breathing heavily. It’s also important to remember that you can transmit STIs (sexually transmitted infections) such as genital herpes, chlamydia, gonorrhea and syphilis through oral sex. The risk is greater if you’re touching the anus or vulva. To reduce this risk, be sure to use a condom during fellatio and a dental dam during cunnilingus or analingus.
8. Move from the anus to the vagina
The anus is a base to get started with, but don’t just go straight for the clitoris. Many women enjoy being stimulated in the vulva, too. Licking, gentle sucking and blowing air into the vulva can all be very exciting for her. Some people find that inserting their fingers or even their penis into the vulva increases the intensity of their oral sex.
A great way to start exploring oral sex is to just go slow, and use all five of your senses. Like a piece of music, it’s all about the build-up to the crescendo, and oral sex is no different.
For some couples, the best way to experience oral sex is to take turns. This gives both partners a chance to discover the pleasures of each other’s erogenous zones and learn what works best for them. Make sure to talk with your partner about the kinds of positions, speeds and techniques you would both be interested in trying. And always remember to use protection. STIs that can be transmitted through oral sex include human papillomavirus (HPV), which causes genital warts, hepatitis A, B and C, oral herpes, gonorrhea and chlamydia.